Friends.

Does a friend do that to you? That would be the question I've asked myself countless times these past two years. You see, I've encountered a lot of problems regarding friends in Form 4 and Form 5. Is it really my problem ? Or is it theirs ? Honestly, I don't know. But I've been silently praying that it would be theirs.

A lot of times I found myself feeling sad for what my friends did. I know, it is something inevitable, and everyone has to go through these problems sometimes. And yes, I've heard of 'Forgive and Forget'. But, what if after you forgive and forget, the same thing keeps happening over and over again, and it is you who gets hurt every time ? Do you keep forgive and forget ? Or do you just forget, about them ?

For instance, a friend of mine, John asked me to go to a trip with him weeks ago, as he was not very close with the other friends who are going. Being a friend, I agreed. We were supposed to sit together in the bus during the trip. Everything was in place, and I was looking forward to the trip. (Tonight 10.30pm)

This morning John told me that another friend who is closer to him than I am, Ben is going to the trip as well (Someone has decided not to go , which left an empty space for him). What's wrong with that you may ask ? Well, John has decided that he would be sitting Ben, instead of sitting with me. It may sound like nothing to the person who is reading this, but try to step into my shoes, and tell me it's nothing. I mean, I agreed AS A FRIEND to accompany John, even when I preferred to stay at home and play my computer games. But as soon as he found Ben to go to the trip, he ditched me in a heartbeat.

Like you've guessed, I decided not to go at first. But after being persuaded by some of my friends, I'll be going after all, since I've paid for the trip. I'll be sitting with some other friends in the back row of the bus (where there is enough space for 4 to 5 people). So that's that.

Just this afternoon, I've just discovered that ANOTHER friend of mine, Tom who is also going to the trip, is happy that Ben joined the trip last minute. Because according to him, there will be some DRAMA for him to watch. What drama ? Well you see, a girl which has some history with me, Corry will me going on the trip as well. But there's nothing between us anymore, and Tom does not know about it. It so happens that Ben and this girl has some history as well. So the DRAMA Tom was talking about is that Ben and I would do something stupid or go against each other in our attempt to impress or win Corry's heart.

Is that what you all would call it ? DRAMA ? I would certainly not. I don't think it's funny when 2 friends compete or fight against one another. But a friend is a friend, we can either accept them for who they are, or we can take them away, leaving a scar on our heart.

Well I'm going to keep them in my heart for now, for they are my friends. We shared lots of good memories together, and definitely some bad ones.

Life is difficult without friends. They are who we share laughters and tears and worries together.
And if you are very lucky, you might even find a friend who is able to change you for the better and make your life more meaningful. If anyone denies this, well, good luck with the long journey ahead.

The key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are. Instead, we trust people to be who we want them to be. And when they're not, we cry.

p/s : All the names mentioned above are not the real names of my friends.

S.P.End

It kinda hard to believe that SPM is finally over..Well I mean.. It's not almost over, it's not I-feel-like-it's-over over, I-give-up kinda over.. it is Officially OVER. Just typing that puts a grin on my face. XD
There was no cheering, no hysterical screams, no firecrackers as we left the exam hall for the very last time.. I just thought something like that ought to happen.. Like I said earlier SPM should be the most stressful event in our lives.. So far, of course. There's tonnes of Sh.. uh.. Crap waiting for us in the future.. Everyone was just relieved that it's over ( again, grinning face )..

As a celebration, a few of my friends and I went to Central Square, a small time shopping complex which by the way, is the only one with a cinema here. We went ahead and watched Enchanted. I estimated only about 15% of the tickets were sold as a lot of the seats were left empty. Either people thought it sucked or we watched it too late.. I would prefer the second idea as I thought the show was quite good indeed..The part when Pip ( the chipmunk ) acted in the attempt of warning Prince Edward of the plans by her evil stepmother was so adorable.. By the way, James Marsden played the role of Prince Edward splendidly well.. The way he smile was so captivating.. And no, I'm straight.. And I liked it that he calls everyone a peasant.. ha ha..

Hey, is it only me or does Robert ( Patrick Dempsey ) looked quite a bit like Sean Penn ??
Anyway, I really enjoyed listening to the song Giselle and that Prince Edward sang for quite a number of times throughout the movie..

I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss
And a prince I'm hoping comes with this

something like that..

We went to the arcade soon after, being a crappy little arcade center in a crappy little shopping complex, the machines there were ( for the lack of a better word ) CRAP. Some of the machines there was so outdated, it's not even funny.. Really, it makes me sad to even at the arcade center.. I played some of the machines there when I was still in Primary School.. Back then, before the advancement of technology, those machines were considered great and loads of people enjoyed playing them.. But now, I'd rather watch some boring TV commercials or spam at some random websites than to lay my hands on them. The BEST machine there was the Initial D car racing and that went out like.. I don't know, 5 years back ? Since there are no other arcade centers in this little town, I'd say it was better than nothing.. I long to visit an arcade center like the ones in Genting Highlands.. I swear I could just spend a whole day there without having to play arcade machines.. Just looking at other people playing it satisfies me.. Anyway after the arcade we just went back as there were really nothing much for us to do there..

So um.. We're supposed to give back our SPBT books tomorrow ( I can't wait ) morning between 9 to 10 Am.. There's a total of 19 textbooks, but I only managed to find 18. Would have found the stupid Biology Practical Textbook if I had been looking for it instead of siting in front of my computer.. Like right now.. :P

I'm pretty tired now.. I tried to sleep at 1 Am yesterday.. but only managed to fall asleep after about.. 2 hours.. Which means that I'm already up for a period of 21 hours. I'm gonna get some sleep now. Uh.. Have a good one y'all.

Here Goes Nothing

It is now 6.15pm, the day before my final paper for SPM..
It is a very weird feeling, I think I should be happy, but I'm not..
Looking back on the countdown timer I had on my desktop which showed the days remaining before SPM, I vividly remember when it showed 42 days..

When SPM finally arrived, I changed it to Days Remaining Till SPM Ends..
And again, I remember the timer showing 20 days.. And now, it is showing a very humble ' 1 '..
I can't help but to feel a little bit relieved, after all, it has been a long, long month..
I've never been this stressful in my whole life. I guess the same goes to everyone who is taking SPM.

Tomorrow's paper is for Chinese ( not my favourite subject since primary school.. In fact, it is the ONE paper i feared/hated most )..
God Almighty I've been trying hard this year.. and there was indeed SOME improvements, but I still don't think it's good enough..
At the end, I'd like to think that everything comes down to luck..

Anyway, I think I'll go back and read some essays now..

The ending of SPM is only the beginning of something much more... wonderful.. well, I hope.